I'm feeling worried about leaving behind my wonderful support system.
I have come to love my Tuesday night meetings that have proven to not only give me support, new ideas and new motivation they also get me back on track when I slip up. Which, since Christmas has been a much more important aspect of the meetings. In two weeks, that support will be over and I will have to find new ways to get back on track and keep myself accountable. The thought of being on my own scares me but I keep telling myself that I have more than enough knowledge now to keep this up, I just need to do it.
I am feeling anxious for the final assessment.
I know I have lost weight but worry it's not what I had hoped it would be when I started. Then there are all of the other parts of the assessment that have got my anxiety levels up. What will my measurements be and my body fat percentage? What will my resting and recovery heart rates look like? They have to be better right? Hopefully....though the thing that has got me the most anxious is the push ups. I don't know what it is about those @#*% but I cannot do them to save my life. I am much closer now but my upper body strength is non existent and though I have been lifting weights and attempting push up everyday I'm not sure if I will be able to do them when it comes time. Wish me luck!
I am feeling inspired.
If you had asked me last week what I was feeling I would have said regretful. I have been enjoying exercising and losing weight but there has been this nagging voice in my head over the last two and a half months that has been saying, "Too bad you weren't doing this for the last ten (eleven, twelve??) years...you could be in great shape without the stretch marks blah, blah, blah" When I went to my meeting on Tuesday I couldn't shake the feeling of regret but then I got there and looked around and got re-inspired by all of the wonderful people and their unique journeys. I realized sitting there that right at that moment I was the youngest I was ever going to be again and for the first time it wasn't a negative thought. I was looking at all of these different people in different stages of their lives and realized that whenever anyone (me) decides to start improving their lives, it is a good time. You can't change the past but you can work on the present to improve the future and that idea has uplifted me.
I am feeling motivated.
The motivation wave that I have been riding that has helped me get my health and fitness back on track is now pushing me to want change other aspects of my life. I have been so wrapped up in being a mom for the past nine years that I have not been making time for myself. Through this program I have found time for myself to workout (which has been amazing!) but has made me a little greedy for more. Now I am working on finding (more) time to see friends (and maybe even my husband!). It is so easy to lose yourself when you are always putting other people's needs above your own and slowly I would like to start remembering what it is that I like to do.
So, there you go: worried, anxious, inspired, motivation all swirling around in my head at the same time but luckily have left me feeling mostly positive about the future. I have a lot of work to do and it won't be over in two weeks when my meetings are done. There is always more time to improve more things and though deadlines are super helpful in motivating me the reality that this is a lifelong journey also helps.
What is something in your life that you would like to change for the future you?
Disclosure: I am being compensated with a membership to this program but the opinions and the sweat are all my own. http://seacoastsportsclubs.com